I need to let it out!

There are so many things locked up inside of me. I don't really want anyone to know the things I go through but I wanna type it out. So I thought this would be the "good" idea.

Writing blogs make me feel better. I don't talk to people much and when I do, I don't want to unload on them all my problems. I like talking to God about them, though sometime I don't. Which I need to more and more.

God is the most important thing in my life. And I love him so much. He has brought me through so many things. And I have been through many lol. Who hasn't?

Just recently I went through a time where I thought God didn't love me and I left Church. (I wont make it a long story) I came back to God after/during drama conference. He told me he loved me and that always will. I had thought I had done so much sin that he wouldn't love me anymore. But the only unforgivable sin is blasphemy. And he let me know that.

When I came back I asked him for some help. I asked him to send me someone. Little did I know Kristen (one of best friends) was telling this one guy that I liked him. She said he was looking for someone to help out with things then get together but idk lol. And it was right at the same time I was praying to God.

I like him! I told him. Kristen told him......and I'm scared now lol.

If you are reading this....don't let me know. You know who you are lol.

I am so sad all the time. I'm depressed most of the time. And right now all I want to do is cry. But I'm trusting in Jesus. I know this "rainy" season will be over soon. And I know God is taking care of me. Thank you Lord!!!!

Victoria M. Clouse